Tempers flare at the site of a $99 construction project that is weeks behind schedule

SAN ANTONIO — A massive, $99 toy train project approved by voters in the Tedesco home on Christmas day is two weeks behind schedule and plagued by cost overruns and accidents, federal officials announced today.

“The Imaginarium City Central Train Table was supposed to slash commuter times and improve commerce for Pete and Sophie Tedesco,” said Randall Cunningham, chief planner for the Federal Railroad Administration. “Instead, it’s a complete disaster. I pity those poor kids.”

Officials blamed the contractors, identified as Pete and Sophie’s parents, for the delays. Their lawyer denied any wrongdoing.

“My clients were not aware that you needed an actual engineering degree to build this huge train set,” said lawyer Archibald Cox. “Have you read the instructions? Jesus, there’s like a billion little pieces you have to put together.”

Cox said the parental contractors also had to deal with an unlicensed construction firm, Sophie Sue Demolition Inc., that destroyed buildings and train tracks every time they turned their backs.

With a squeal of delight, the one-baby demolition crew blew up a section of train track without warning and injured two Lego construction workers, who were listed in stable condition at University Hospital.